Helloooo!

There are truly no words to describe the past couple weeks. Even if I wrote for pages and pages, I wouldn’t be able to adequately express what happened. I’m sitting in front of my fireplace (forgot how much I loved it!) and I’m trying to think of how to write what I want to say. First off, I survived my first year of college. What a crazy ride that was. I learned more about myself than I ever thought was possible. I learned a lot academically but maybe not necessarily about the subjects individually haha. One is for sure—I can’t study at home. I have to go on a date with good ol’ Harold B. Lee. Harold and I were basically going steady during finals week. What an insane week. Unless one has experienced a finals week, there isn’t a way to really understand it. It’s a combination of stress, worry, studying, no sleep, stress, studying, and lots and lots of prayer.



Taking a break from studying...

 This last finals week was a little different though than fall semester. During finals week of fall semester, I was looking forward to leaving. I would see my family again, get a break from college life, not have to cook, etc. But I knew that I would be coming back to Provo after two weeks and see mostly everyone again. That wasn’t the case this time around. I knew that after this round of finals, I most likely wouldn’t see the people in my ward ever again, most of all the boys who were leaving for their missions. So as happy as I was to finish finals, I knew that all of the goodbyes were getting closer. I finished finals on Tuesday so that I could have maximum time with the people I cared about. I most likely didn’t do the best on some of my finals, but you know when you reach the point where you can’t study anymore and just need to take the final? I’d hit that wall so I thought what the heck.

After bombing some tests, I had some of the most fun and emotional days of all semester. At this point, everyone is the ward was friendly with everyone and it wasn’t weird to hang out with basically anyone. So I did. I so wish that this had happened earlier in the semester but I’m happy that it happened at all. It took so long for everyone to get past the “getting to know you” part and just become chill with everyone. I loved it but it made goodbyes so much harder. I felt like the world I had finally adjusted to was falling to pieces and it was. It was the end of the mighty fine 129, the end of Heritage Halls, the end of my first year at college. Don’t get me wrong, there are some things I definitely won’t miss but I’ve never really had to say goodbye to so many people I care about and had such an influence on me. Who knew saying goodbye would be so hard.

Coming home is another story all together. Packing was a nightmare and cleaning checks were horrible. But thanks to our moms (Jessica’s mom came too) we got it done in a somewhat orderly fashion. We packed up and headed to our relatives’ house to spend the night. We drove home allllll of Saturday and it was actually a good trip. It was long but I got to spend some quality time with our moms and especially Jessica. I’m so glad she and I roomed together this year. I’m not going to try and sugarcoat it and say it was easy because sometimes it was hard. But we (well..I think she did too) both realized that we’re mature enough to work out our problems, even with our differences. And hey, we’re doing it all over again next year J

And now home. That word encompasses more than it did before. While I was packing in Provo, I kept saying “This sweater can stay here at home, I mean Provo.” Or something like “This will still be here when I come home.” It wasn’t deliberate; Provo has just become my new home. And I felt as if I were leaving my home to go to another home. It was Christmas break x 10. Sooo talk about conflicting emotions. But it’s something I can’t fix and I’m going to make the best of it. There are some definite perks to being home and some downsides as well but might as well accept them for the next 4 months.

My first night I had cat hair and drool all over my bed, shirt, and laptop.
Welcome home.

Hope everyone had a great Easter and congrats if you made it to the end of this post!

A good change?

Last night I had a conversation with Jonathan and this is basically how it went:

Jonathan: You are so embarrassing.
Me: How so?
Jonathan: That one picture on Facebook... (he was referring to a certain picture that Jessica had added)
Me: You know you're proud to call me your sister ;)
Jonathan: Yeah...sometimes...haha
Me: You know what, life is better when you're goofy.
Jonathan: Yeah until someone looks at you weird..

I don't know why this struck me. Jonathan made an amazing point. How afraid are people to be goofy because someone might think a little differently of them? And how quick are people to think differently of others when they are a little weird/different/goofy? How much do we care what others think? I'd like to think that I don't but I know that I do about certain things.

On a different yet similar note, someone the other day said they couldn't imagine me being shy. That struck me as well; where did the shy (aka silent) middle schooler go? Had I finally gotten rid of her?! My goal the past few years has been to be more open and more...myself. And it seems like I'm getting closer to that goal. As I look back on my first year at college, I think maybe sometimes I was a little too goofy and loud at times but I'm learning how to balance "being me" while keeping my loud laugh under wraps. And just for my many readers' entertainment (but mostly my mom's), here is a glimpse of me caught in one of those moments where I lost all control over my laughter (hopefully this will make up for my lack of recent blogging).

Gratitude

So initially this post started out as a "copy Jessica's great idea" but it slowly turned into a "wow I have a lot to be grateful for." This past week was a little rough but through a lot of divine help as well as roommate help, I got through it. I also realized that I still have so much to be grateful for even when times are rough. Obviously I'm grateful for many more things but these are just some of the things I came up with.              

Smells

Freshly baked cookies out of the oven

Flowers

Right after rain on a hot day

Freshly cut grass

The hardware store

Starbucks

Apple cider on a fall day

Campfire

The ocean

Clean laundry right out of the dryer

A guy with a really nice cologne

Shampoo

Tastes

My parents’ cooking

Fruity chapstick

Chocolate!

French fries for days

Minty gum

The fresh taste of mouthwash

Catching a snowflake on my tongue

Sights

Sunsets and sunrises equally

An amazing movie

A graded test with an A at the top

Guys in white shirts and suitsSeeing the “new you” right after a great haircut

The view from the Y at night when you can see all of the lights

Our quote wall; I love reading it every time I sit down

Seeing my roommates come home with a box of Little C’s :)

Seeing a garden grow after months of weeding

Touch

Freshly shaved legs

The ends of your hair when you get it cut

The stretch of muscles when you stretch and finally touch your toes

A newborn baby’s head

Holding a guy’s hand

Scratching someone’s back/getting yours scratched

Being squeaky clean right after a shower

Tempurpedic

Hot springs!

A really nice keyboard with just the right clicky noise

Playing a piano song perfectly

Getting your nails doneHolding a newborn kitten

Sounds

Piano music

When your phone vibrates when that guy texts you back 

Super loud techno at a rave

“Dinner time!”

When the oven timer goes off and your food is done

The instant silence when a prophet or apostle walks into the room

PS. Sorry for not blogging sooner but I've been lazy hehe :)

和食ナイト

Today was such a grand day.  We had Stake conference today so we ended earlier than normal and the sun was shining so it was warm for once. That alone would have made it a wonderful day but it got even better.

For the past couple of weeks, our dorm has been planning an Asian food night and it finally happened! We invited another dorm across the hall and made a party out of it. Carly was in charge of spring rolls and they came out beautifully (and delicious).



YUM

Korokke are a lot of work and I didn't really want to make them but Kimmie and Jess really wanted them so I showed them how to make it and off they went. I was extremely impressed with their eagerness to become Asian for the day :)



Jess going for it



They almost look Japanese.
Almost :)



Korokke! This entire tray was FULL but we ate a lot :}

And then I was in charge of the sushi. I didn't want to make it too fancy so we just did temakisushi and everyone did their own thing.

Such a colorful spread

 
I feel like my roommates have broadened their horizons and expanded their palates. I'm so glad we did this! Overall it was a success :)


Gosh I love this girl. We don't talk as much as we used to but we skyped the other day and it was like nothing had changed. We talked about the usual drama in our lives and basically just caught up. I'm so glad we've stayed friends. I figured we would but there's always that little grain of fear.

I've known Aubrey since I was 5 and although we weren't friends right off (3rd grade..hehe), we became really good friends around 8th or 9th grade. It's kind of funny because it was through Aubrey that I met and became good friends with Nerissa, Kelsey, Monica, and Anna.



She's also been my dancing buddy since we were 5. We've gone through studio drama, crazy dance teacher(s), pecking order fiascos, injuries, and amazing & awful performances. Driving together to dance with the windows down and music blasting is one of my favorite memories. I'll always remember our countless sleepovers, TPing adventures, truth or dare games, summers in Spokane, dance rehearsals, and venting sessions. I know I can count on her and even though she's growing up and graduating this June, she better not forget about me when she goes off to college... :) Love you Aubsters Lobsters!

Memories

I was just looking through old pictures and it brought back a lot of memories. So here you go :)



Puddle jumping with the best friends in good old Enumclaw rain :)



The excitement of being done! :)

Fotoshoot fun

Prommmm; Nerissaaa

Summer; car rides; loud music

Being young and playing dress up

Cross country; Seaside

Our random crazy bonding sleepover

Wild sleepovers

This inspiring girl

Oh seminary



Friends



This night overall hahaha

Miss Lexiieee

Dancing; my best friend

Wiiiiiiiitzel. Enough said.



 

This picture says it all :)





 

The longer I’m here at BYU, the more I realize how much I didn’t know or appreciate before I came. One thing that stands out right now is that you find out who your true friends in high school were because they’re the only ones that make the effort to talk to you. Which isn’t necessarily bad, but if you had said that to me at the end of my senior year when everyone was promising each other they’d keep in touch, I wouldn’t have believed it. Everyone is going their own way and making their own lives. High school and all of its drama seems so insignificant now. Some days I miss it but most days I don’t.

There’s one person especially I’ve come to appreciate a lot since coming to college. Well there’s multiple but right now I’m talking about someone who needs to hear this. She knows who she is. Truth to be told, I didn’t really want to go to college with this person nor live with her. I wanted to do “my own thing.” And I was scared that if we lived together we wouldn’t stay friends and that I’d basically get sick of her. And since we were good enough friends when we were choosing what to do, I told her this. She took it well and let me choose (kind of J). I can now honestly say that I’m so glad we both chose to come to BYU for ourselves and decided to live together. We both have our own opinions and sometimes they’re very different but we just agree to disagree. I’d like to think that we’ve somewhat expanded each others’ horizons.

But more than learning to get along, we’ve grown closer. She supports me and vice versa. We know when each other is feeling down and needs a pick me up or how to react when there’s a great story told. We’re both honest enough to say what the other person may not want to hear. We know how to laugh loudly and get craaazy. One of us is more passive while the other is slightly more aggressive. We are so different yet we think the same thing at the same time. We talk to each other in our sleep. She’s my wingman and I’m hers. She’s my partner in crime and my date on the days that we just need a girls’ night. We both try to help each other be the best we can be on the days that we aren’t going crazy. She's the white to my rice. 

But want to know the best part? We’re living together next year as well. Let the fun times continue!