life is

..discovering you can get blisters underneath your toenails.
..having an old man tell me my dress is "hot"
..having a roommate who listens to me ramble about imperialism.
..my body feeling like it's falling apart. then buying a bag of ice the size of a whale.
..not realizing a couple has broken up and me asking them where their boyfriend is (multiply by three).
..always looking tired.
..making sukiyaki with friends.
..having roommates who are obsessed with tlc wedding shows.
..being way too excited about getting to sleep in until 7:00. is this what it feels like to be an adult?
..spending too much time on homework. it. never. ends.
..watching japanese game shows on youtube.
..asking for practical things for my birthday when i would diiiie for these babies
..counting down the days until japan!!
..top knots every day. and then realizing how long my hair is getting when i wear it down.
..getting a new rice cooker and being silly excited.
..finding joy in the litte things.


eat your words. don't worry, they're nonfat.

i've been thinking about writing on this topic for a while but, like most things these days, it was put on the blog back burner.
that is, until someone sent a dagger of a comment into the heart of this sensitive subject.

i walked into a study room the other day and one of my friends made a comment about my waist size, about how it looked like i'd put on some weight. in his defense, in his culture it's acceptable to talk about weight but i was still taken aback, defensive, and to be honest, angry. after making a raised eyebrow-i-can't-believe-you-just-said-that face, i turned around and walked out of the study room.
my other friend came after me to talk and i ended up staying to study. but only after a long-winded rant about how uncalled for his comment was.

i don't tell this story for sympathy.
i tell it because i was mad.
mad at the world's idea of skinny.

just because i'm not a size zero
just because i don't have the perfect measurements
just because i like to eat dessert
does not make me fat. i am healthy.
true, i have big legs and my waist isn't as skinny as it was freshmen year. but guess what? there's no way my body could have run as far as it does now. you bet i eat a lot. i have to. how else is my body supposed to run 18 miles?
i love my body. i love how it feels, looks, and how much it's capable of.
it's not conceited or vain. i like who i am and i like how i was created. i wish everyone felt this way.
love your body. check yourself out in the mirror when you walk past it. exercise to feel the rush of endorphins and a sense of accomplishment. walk around in your underwear and bright socks. be happy with who you are and what you've been given.

i found this quote the other day and it summed up my feelings perfectly:

"the more i run, the more i love my body. not because it's perfect, far from it. but because with every mile it is proving to me that i am capable of more that i ever thought possible."


chicken pot pie is good for the soul

last week was a little humbling if you couldn't tell from my last post. quizzes, papers, a presentation...it was nonstop. I even slept through my alarm and missed my morning run twice. it was one of those weeks where you just want to sit down, cry, and eat chocolate.

but through the sweet goodness of a higher power, the end of my week ended just right. my classes went well, work went by fast, and I figured out the next two years of my life. there's something exciting about having a game plan, ya know? internships don't come when you're just floating along aimlessly {unless you're really really really lucky}. so now I'm excited for school all over again.

then, the stars lined up and I went to a freshmen roommate reunion. I hadn't seen natalie in almost a year and kimmie in about 4 months. but we all laughed and talked like no time has passed. we made our favorite rolls and chicken pot pie and stuffed ourselves silly. we looked through some old pictures and definitely had some good laughs.

these girls will always be special to me. it was our first time living away from home and we grew really close when we learned to rely on each other that first year. I'm so glad they're still in my life even if it's only for one night every couple of months and I have to share them with husbands and boyfriends ;)

the rest of my weekend was pretty low key. saturday consisted of a long run, lots of homework, and a movie night. sunday was made up of an amazing church conference, nap, and a much needed spiritual rejuvenation. man, I love weekends.

this week is going to be much better. no meltdowns, no yelling at the computer, and no binge eating chocolate. or at least that's what I'm telling myself ;)

ps. so those quizzes and that presentation? all above 90%. booyah.


what my saturday is looking like.

my laptop is back! 
{not like it's been out of commission since february or anything...}
today i'm keeping it company with my cozy flannel and fuzzy socks.
happy weekend lovelies.


life lately is...

first day of 1st grade
...early to bed, early to rise and feeling like an old woman all the time. just give me a cat and knitting needles.
...failed quizzes. apparently i needed to be humiliated humbled. and reminded to study harder.
...being one of 3 girls in both my japanese classes. and everyone else being pretty darn attractive.
...officially registering for a marathon!
...my boss watching moose hunting youtube videos. first thing that came to mind was this.
...having deep conversations with my roommate about evolution vs creation and marriage vs serving a mission.
...getting the constant question "do you have an older brother and did he serve a mission in japan?" at least it's given me an excuse to talk to them ;)
...my building being taking over by students. my building being where i work because, you know, having a desk in a corner makes the whole building mine.
...going on facebook and every day there is a new baby or "i'm pregnant!" announcement.
...waiting excitedly for the day i can say i'm 20.
...not so patiently waiting for my laptop to be fixed.
...loving my cute old japanese professor. his jokes totally beat his strictness.
...being excited for my study group more than i ever have been before.
...realizing how good-looking byu students are...
...already tired of homework. ha.
...being super excited about what i'm learning! china, japan, korea, repeat.

maybe i'll have something more exciting next time, but until then, happy thursday!