26.2

the morning of our race was silly cold. while we waited i wore multiple layers, a cozy hat, and sat in a heated tent but i was still cold. it was a halloween race so there were lots of crazy costumes. thor, axe murder, the devil, ninja turtle, eve, peter pan...the list was endless. there was even a purple teletubby that ran the entire marathon in her costume.

i wish i could say that i killed that race but...i didn't. that race chewed me up and then spit me back out. the course was different than the one listed and a bit more hilly. as in, the entire first half was mostly uphill. and then, because it had snowed and was so cold some of the water cups at the aid stations had a sheet of ice over them. gatorade popsicle anyone? i could go on about how at one point maybe i cried and said i couldn't go on or how i acted like gollum for a solid hour {liz you're doing awesome! i can't run anymore. shut up and suck it up! but it hurts, i just want to walk. don't even think about it! ahhh} but i'm trying to focus on the positive. thanks to a miracle woman on the trail who randomly decided to run with me and emily who rode her bicycle next to me, i was able to finish the last three miles.

running this marathon was the hardest thing, mentally and physically, i have ever done in my life, but i finished. and really, that's what counts. i'm not dwelling on how i didn't make my goal time or how slow i was. i finished and i'm proud of myself. and i deserved every single french fry that i ate at red robin afterwards.

ps. if you see a girl waddling around like a duck, that's me.

this one's for you weekend

i have a rockin' draft from friday about how i spent the week talking to professors and going to info meetings, and how i finally figured out what i wanted to do for the next two years. then on saturday this announcement was made and all my plans became maybes. nothing has been decided yet but i've got a lot to think about.

the rest of my weekend was spent watching this and looking like this.

 i didn't get my homework done and i ate enough to make up for my twenty mile run. but it was a thought-provoking weekend and i learned a lot about what kind of person i need and want to become.

this week is gonna be about big girl decisions, midterms, and trying to wear something other than the flannel i've been wearing every single day too much.

cheers.

ps. on the bright side, i'm a grandma in a skit/test and i get to talk about my favorite cat. it's basically practice for my future.



eat your words. don't worry, they're nonfat.

i've been thinking about writing on this topic for a while but, like most things these days, it was put on the blog back burner.

that is, until someone sent a dagger of a comment into the heart of this sensitive subject.

i walked into a study room the other day and one of my friends made a comment about my waist size, about how it looked like i'd put on some weight. in his defense, in his culture it's acceptable to talk about weight but i was still taken aback, defensive, and to be honest, angry. after making a raised eyebrow-i-can't-believe-you-just-said-that face, i turned around and walked out of the study room.
my other friend came after me to talk and i ended up staying to study. but only after a long-winded rant about how uncalled for his comment was.

i don't tell this story for sympathy.
i tell it because i was mad.
mad at the world's idea of skinny.

just because i'm not a size zero
just because i don't have the perfect measurements
just because i like to eat dessert
does not make me fat. i am healthy.
true, i have big legs and my waist isn't as skinny as it was freshmen year. but guess what? there's no way my body could have run as far as it does now. you bet i eat a lot. i have to. how else is my body supposed to run 18 miles?
i love my body. i love how it feels, looks, and how much it's capable of.
it's not conceited or vain. i like who i am and i like how i was created. i wish everyone felt this way.
love your body. check yourself out in the mirror when you walk past it. exercise to feel the rush of endorphins and a sense of accomplishment. walk around in your underwear and bright socks. be happy with who you are and what you've been given.

i found this quote the other day and it summed up my feelings perfectly:

"the more i run, the more i love my body. not because it's perfect, far from it. but because with every mile it is proving to me that i am capable of more that i ever thought possible."

13.1 miles gives you lots of time to think

well...

we did it!

saturday we woke up at 4:30 and headed to where the buses would shuttle us to the starting line. the bus drive to the start felt sooo long since I knew that was our race route but it was only about 20 min ha.

once we got there, we still had about an hour left to wait. so we jogged around warming up/trying to stay warm. we didn't hear the start! but the pushing forward was sign enough.
us three girls started out together but by mile 5 I was on my own. the next 8.1 miles gave me pleeeenty of time to hang out in my head and observe other people...

--the staredown between cyclists and runners? it's real. there were rude gesture and snarky comments on who had the right of way

--the granny I drafted for about 2 miles was a beast

--there's something humbling about older runners, whether it be the ones who are passing me or who are doing the best they can in the back. if they can do it at 70, I sure as heck should be able to do it at 19
--there was an old man with a running shirt that said pain you enjoy. true statement
--the heavens were smiling down upon us when they sent a shirtless mens cross country team and that other man with the tan and six pack. I may have run a little bit faster after that
--to the, uh, large hairy gentleman who ran past me: I commend you for your confidence
--there was a group of matchy matchy moms who ran together the whole time. I decided that's going to be me in 15 years
--when the finish line was in sight, I sprinted and in my head shouted sucker! like a third grader to the girl I passed

and last but not least
 if I can do a half, why not do a full marathon?
:)