There is so much that I don't know. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, I don't know what will happen next week,  I don't know my major, I don't know when I'll get married, I don't know a lot about the Gospel, I don't know what trials will come my way.

I just don't know.

Yes, I'll know some things eventually but I've realized that there are some things that I won't ever know. And you know, I'm kind of okay with that. Don't get me wrong, not knowing what will happen can be scary. One of my friends got into a car accident the other day and that has really put things into perspective. This life is a gift and it made me think: How well have I been using my gift? What have I done to help people? When was the last time I told my family that I loved them?

Sadly, I don't think I've done a lot of good. I've been so wrapped up in me me me. My homework, my plans for the weekend, my to-do list. College is important and a very high priority right now but I haven't really been taking advantage of this time in my life right now. I've been so caught up in where I'll end up rather than enjoying the ride of "right now."

I have so much to be grateful for. I'm glad to be alive, I'm extremely grateful my friend is alive, I love being able to study at a university where other people share the same beliefs, and I'm grateful for myself. My body is capable of so much and my mind is stretched on a daily basis.

I haven't really decided on what steps I'm going to take to help me appreciate my life in the "right now" but it's going to happen. Life is precious. That's all for now :)

Part 2

{I thought about cramming everything in my mind into one post but that would've ended up being a novel sooo I'm posting twice. In one day. WHOA.}

After listening to Conference, I felt like I could conquer to world and basically handle anything. There was so much on overcoming trials, having faith, and scripture reading, which were all things I really needed to hear. I'm not even sure if there was a specific talk on this but I left with the distinct feeling that I need to trust Heavenly Father. Completely. A couple weeks ago I was just having a really hard time knowing what I should do. After stewing in indecision for a while, I realized that I don't have all of the answers and never will. So I've decided that if I'm making the best choices that I can and being the best person I can be, then things will work out. I've learned that I need to trust in a higher power and to not rely on myself for everything. I've learned this but I'm still working on the application part. It's coming though.

I've also realized how blessed I am. I have an amazing family that loves me and sends me goodies in the mail, great friends, and fantastic roommates. One of my roommates, Hillary, is engaged and I'm so excited for her! She's getting married in December so we might have a new roommate next semester. But I'm so glad I've gotten to know her. She's so funny and silly. She makes me laugh on a daily basis. I'm so happy to be living with Jessica and Carly as well. I know that I can go to them if I need anything. It can be from needing advice or a hug to wanting to run to 7/11 for Ben&Jerry's Half Baked {I'm addicted..}

Look at how beautiful they are :) {Plus Jilly of course!}



Jessica: This girl is amazing. I can't even begin to express how much she's impressed me this year. She's my other half, my partner in crime, my cousin, and one of my best friends. We've had so many great conversations, runs to Redbox, and "what do I wear?!" moments. I'm glad we're roommates and that we've gotten closer. And...I love her closet.

Carly: She is one of the best listeners I have ever met. I've had some of the best conversations with her during the year I've known her. She's got some of the best one-liners I've ever heard. I'm so happy we're living together and I'm excited for everything that is to come.

I'm so lucky.

Man, I love college.

Especially BYU.

This will be the 3rd time I've started this post and I keep having to change it because new things keep happening! But to back up...

Yes, I'm alive!

 Life has gotten in the way of my blogging and I would apologize, but nothing too drastic has happened. And yet, new and exciting things have been going on.

Last weekend was General Conference and oh, how amazing that was. I watched the Saturday sessions in the apartment with the roomies and friends but on Saturday night, a group of us girls headed up to Midway to Carly's grandparents' house to watch conference there. It was so amazing to get away from school and normal life. Fall colors were just beginning to show and I got a couple pictures from the walk we went on between sessions. Being out in nature was so peaceful. It was great to be able to just walk around with these girls, appreciate God's creations, and talk about conference. I was so grateful for that weekend.

School is going really well. The semester is chugging along and the homework load is just getting bigger and bigger. But one really amazing thing that I love about this semester classes--World Civ and Asian Humanities overlap so I get to learn somethings twice, which is nice for my brain. My Doctrine and Covenants class and Joseph Smith and the Restoration class overlap too so I get another double whammy. Jazz is incredibly hard but I can feel myself get stronger with every class so that's nice. Japanese is same old same old but the workload is slightly heavier than previous classes. Last week I had 5 midterms and my poor brain was dying. Luckily, this week was a tad bit easier but I had to catch up on all of the homework I put off to study for my tests. But now it's the weekend and it's also my birthday! I got a couple things in the mail and I was so excited to open them :)

{I took this picture with my foot..hehe}

A chocolate cake mix from Sho. Soo excited to make it!

Today is my birthday but since it's on a Sunday, I celebrated it yesterday. I went to Chipotle with one of my best friends, and then we went to Thanksgiving Point and wandered through stores, and then we went to the BYU vs. San Jose football game! The game was freezing cold but we won so it made it worth it. Here are some snapshots from the day :)

Heaven wrapped in foil. What a beaut.

Who I spent my "birthday" with :)

Foooooootball

Cosmo doin his thing

We won!!

It's been a great weekend :) Now I'm 19  years old and of course much, much more mature than when I was 18. I'm another year closer to not being a teenager woohoo! But anyways, happy Fall! (Or if you're in Utah...happy Winter!) 

Back In Action

I'm not really in the mood to write something creative and I feel like I have so much to write so I'm going to rock the list format.

1. It feels great to be back in Provo and around people my own age.
2. This semester I'm taking Asian Humanities, World Civilizations, Japanese 202, Joseph Smith and the Restoration, Doctrine and Covenants, and Jazz dance. And no I don't know what my major is.
3. Being in a ward with return missionaries is quite a bit different than being in a ward with freshmen boys. And I'm pretty sure I like it.
4. I forgot how distracting Facebook can be when there's 5 hours of homework staring at you in the face.
5. I don't know how I'm ever going to get married. I ask at least one of my roommates about my outfit every day.
6. My love for dance hasn't diminished. I know that the studio I danced at wasn't a very good one and that I'm not very good but I still love it. My dance class is incredibly hard and there are some seriously talented people in it but I'm going to give it all I've got.
7. Majority of the people here are white.
8. We have church in the holiest building on campus--> Testing Center hollaaaa
9. I know many more guys in my ward than girls. Is that a bad thing..?
10. But no worries, I've got a steady relationship already with homework. I have a feeling we're just going to keep getting closer.
11. Men who speak another language are slightly more attractive than those who don't...
12. I really like making people laugh. But mostly I just make myself laugh.
13. Dealing with little boys is much less complicated than dealing with big boys. Little boys don't like it when you kiss them, only get cranky with you if you don't let them play video games, and the only time you hold their hand is when you cross the street. And if they're really little, they just smile at you when you feed them. So easy.
14. I find myself analyzing people's outfits. All. The. Time.
15. I love warm weather. But the rain is sometimes nice too, especially if accompanied by thunder and lightning.
16. I really really like meeting new people and making new friends. But the usual questions of What's your name, what's your major, where are you from... get really old. Really fast.
17. I don't know if I'm going to be going to BYU next semester. Travelling is calling my name and yet I'm kind of getting comfortable at the Brittany already.....
18. I can't believe I forgot one of the most important BYU rules. RING CHECK.
19. I'm rooming with 3 amazing girls: Jessica, Carly, and Hillary.
20. Did I mention I love BYU?

Okay fine you win

I got some negative feedback from the last post so I figured I should post something a little more detailed.

I honestly have no idea how to begin but I suppose I can start at the beginning of summer. When I came back to Enumclaw in April, I honestly wasn't too happy to be home. But when I was getting ready to leave for Provo in August, I had some serious mixed emotions. I spent a lot of time with my family this summer and got to know them more as people rather than just "family members." It was easier to appreciate my parents for all they do because I had lived without them for a year. I also became better friends with Jonathan. Don't get me wrong, we still fought quite a bit, but instead of just brushing aside our problems, we tried to work them out. I didn't see Sho as much as the others but it was still fun when he came down for the weekend or I saw him at Pike Place.

I think another reason why I became closer to my family was that I didn't really want to see a lot of my highschool friends. They changed, I changed, and we just grew apart. Our standards were (and are) different and I just couldn't really relate to them as much as I used to. I still want to stay in touch with them but I want to surround myself with people with the same standards (which was part of the reason I was so excited to get back to BYU).
So as I was officially packing up my room, I realized that I would have no bedroom when I came back to visit and that I was actually really truly moving out this time. It was a weird feeling. But I successfully packed everything away and threw out a lot of old stuff. And then consolidated all of my stuff that I was taking back to BYU. I rode down to BYU with a friend and as excited as I was, I mostly just stared out the window and thought about what I was leaving behind. I learned a lot over the summer and I wanted make sure I remember it. One thing especially was how blessed I was. With so many people out of a job, I still had work opportunities and a chance to earn money for school.

So now I'm finally back at BYU and am loving it. Yes I miss my family and friends but I'm learning to realize that moving on is part of life. And there is so much that has happened already that I could blog about but I think I'll save that for the next time I'm motivated to blog...

I really should blog...

But I don't feel like it.

P.S. Happy Friday everyone!

Cougar town

When I was 13 I would dream of "the perfect summer romance" and that guy that I would meet and spend all my time with.

If only my 13 year old self could have seen me this summer.

Boys for days.

There were so many of them that sometimes I got their names mixed up {bad, huh?}. So I started using nicknames, like "bud" and "dude." Let me tell ya, that definitely came in handy.

So much of my time was spent with boys. I even occasionally would spend the day at someone's house and then go directly to another boy's house. Some days were spent in the ways I had dreamed of, and then there were the times that I got a lot more than I ever asked for.

When I was 13, I hadn't anticipated my summer hang outs consisting of making breakfast, lunch, and dinner for multiple guys or trying to motivate them into helping in the garden. And I definitely hadn't considered the guys fighting with each other. Another interesting thing, I always thought I would spend my time with manly guys. That was very much not so this summer. For some reason, these boys cried quite a bit {sometimes for the silliest things too}

And then there were those awkward moments. Like the time that this one boy told me that I should put some make up on because I reeeeally needed it to look pretty. Or the time that I made this one boy cry {woopsies!}. And that time one of the boys did a little shimmy/jig with no clothes on. Heyoo. Or that one time { x 9741523} that I wasn't allowed to do my bathroom business in peace...

Probably one of the moments that tops all of them is the time that one of the boys nuzzled my twin girls in hopes of finding lunch. Sorry buddy, you're not gonna find any food there!

Then there were the hilarious moments. Like the moment when two boys simultaneously stripped to their underwear and claimed they were ready to watch a movie with me {well that's one way to spend a Friday night ;) }.

We just did so much together that it's difficult to list all of it. Long days spent playing in the pool together, laying on the couch watching movies, eating together, holding hands, making mac&cheese together, and so on.

We spent so much time together that it's no surprise that we got into the occasional fights. Sometimes my name was shouted so much by multiple people that it was hard to tell what was going on. I think it's safe to say that I think some of the boys will miss me and some won't. There were these three suuuuuuper cute guys I hung out with one Friday night and I will sure miss their cute faces and crazy dancing! Then there is this other guy who was really easy going. He mostly just laid around and did whatever I was doing.

I'm pretty sure my two main men won't miss me. But that's okay, they're probably sick of me and ready for change. Or they'll just be forget about me again when school starts.

Tomorrow is my last day with one of the guys and I'm planning on making it a good one. Full of cuddles, kisses, and smiles in between me packing up my room and going shopping for last minute items. But he'll be good and put up with me dragging him places. He's always so patient {except for when he's hungry ha}.

It was the summer I'd always dreamed of.

Except in my dreams, the boys were older than 10 and all potty trained.

Oh well. I guess you can't have it all.

But in 4 days, I will be returning to the true cougar town and who knows what will happen there hehe ;)